Not Interested, Sorry!

I never knew how much three little words from a complete stranger could tear me down until this week!  It has been such an emotional roller coaster of a month and I have experienced every single emotion from the highest to the lowest.  It is so hard to continue to be a good person only to get shit on by every single person you trust your inner self with.  At the end of the day, I know how wonderful I am and how any person would be so very lucky to get to know that about me.  In the end though, those feelings of self doubt still creep into the cracks and make me question whether I really am as wonderful as I think I am.  It's a learning experience for sure and I guess the best thing about this entire experience is finding myself through writing again!  While this has been a struggle, I certainly won't give up.  As much as I want to curl up in a cocoon and never talk to another man ever again, I also feel I am on the verge of finding something so very great.  I have grown so much in the past few months and know that I can only go up from where I am.

So what's great about me!?  I love with my entire heart and soul!  I give everything I am to make sure the people I love are taken care of.  What do I need most?!  A Big Fucking Hug~~~I need someone who loves me as much as I love them to wrap their arms around me and hold me like never before.  A hug that will make me feel so secure, so loved and so very important!  I need someone who will just hold me after a long, hard day.  I need someone I can laugh with, someone I can work hard with, someone I can share my soul with and who will see me and love me right back as much as I love them!  I need someone who can be strong for me for a change!  I need a man who will breathe me in and sigh with desire, while sexually would be nice, but just from pure happiness of having me by his side would be even better.  I want a man who has no desire to have me wait on him hand in foot, although if he loves me like this, I would do almost anything in the world for him!  I want someone I can fall asleep on with his arms tightly wound around me.  I want someone whose shoulder I can cry on when I am at my most vulnerable.

Does love like this really exist!?  I don't know if it does but I do know I've yet to experience it and hopefully someday I can.  Life is so hard and having the right partner would really be amazing for me right now.  So Dear God, if you are listening - I know my expectations are super high right now, but I'd surely appreciate it if you could bring me this kind of love at some point in my life.  Thank you and Amen!